Your behavior with yourself, your co-workers, your friends and your goals is highly affected by how you speak to yourself; In other words, it is all related to the way of self-communication, or what is called “Self-talk”.
We know that most of the daily events are out of our control; however, we can still manage how to deal and handle situations and how to react to them. It is very important to do the positive “self-talking”. It gives you motivation and enhances your self-image. Moreover, it helps you avoid stress and depression. On the other hand, negative “self-talking” destroys confidence, causes bad reactions in hard situations and stresses you out.
Imagine that you have two people inside you, telling you what to do, but one is motivational and considerate, while the other is negative and tends to look at the dark sides of everything. You will surely resort to the positive one. If you want to make an essential self-talk, read the following tips:
1. Over-generalizing won’t help. For example, saying “everyone dislikes me” sounds horrible. Use less extreme terms, such as sometimes, rarely, maybe…
2. Pose your main concentration on actions and not the people themselves. For example, instead of saying “I’m a cow” or “He’s so mean”, focus on criticizing actions instead: “I ate very much” or “He forgot to submit the papers on time”.
3. Do not over-react since it will do nothing but worsen the issue. Be realistic when criticizing. For example, say “this issue has to be solved as soon as possible”; instead of just saying “this is horrible!”
4. Do not pre-judge things or expect the worst to happen. Be reasonable in figuring out things, and do not consider that your manager’s bad mood is caused by you. Just think of things realistically.
5. When a problem occurs, do not panic or start blaming people here and there. Just focus on solutions, try to find a substitute for the issue and concentrate on what is going to happen next, not what actually happened.
6. Stay motivated and cheerful. If you have an important meeting and you are worried about it, just talk to yourself and say: “I can do it”, “I am up to it”, or “I am ready for”… Such positive and motivational terms can help you more than you could ever imagine; they give you a positive push forward and encourages you to face everything with positive spirit.