Sara El Kareh
We all try to avoid conflicts and solve them in the most suitable way. However, we find difficulty doing that without facing more issues and misunderstandings. Below are some steps that can help you solve conflicts and figure out the best solutions for the hardest issues:
- Conversations: make sure you push the other person to talk and say everything he has on mind. Ask several questions that can help keep the conversation going on without having to interrupt the other person while talking. When there’s a pause, pose questions like, “how did it happen?”, “what happened next?”
- Consideration: You must take into consideration that the person full of emotions does not have the ability to listen. His emotions are in control, and therefore it is almost impossible to solve a conflict. All you have to do is try to walk the person away of these emotions at the moment. Show him/her that you understand the feelings he/she has toward this particular person and try to ask if he/she is ready to find solutions
- Avoiding tension: Make sure you do not trigger tension by giving comments that can lead to defensive reactions, such as, “Don’t be so emotional” or “You always ruin things”… Try to settle emotions instead of inflaming them.
- Right timing: sometimes, you need to speak about something straight forward even when in the peak of your pressure and depression. If you think you are neither ready to talk or to be talked to, just postpone the talking to another time later on. You should be aware that the other person just needs time to calm down, and try to start the conversation the soonest possible.
- Understanding: Don’t say you understand if you don’t. If you haven’t been in same circumstances, do not ever say that you “know how you feel”. When you lack understanding, keep on posing questions until you totally understand the situation. It is more important to understand than just pretending you do.
Finally, when you find that the other person is out of the “anger zone”, proceed to the step of solving the solution. Ask questions about the needs of the other person and about his plans to solve the issue in order to overcome the conflict.